The second, the fifth day of the second month of the year after the pandemic

A memoir of a lost author who feared he was about to breathe his last breath after being ravished by his first life-threatening illness.

The original author of this memoir agreed that this post is made public because the contents are evidence of the new fast-paced society where everyone runs a rat race to put up an image for the world or look successful enough. A story of most shining stars hiding their scars with smiles and pushing daily for the big break!

Here are the exact author’s words;

Photo by arash payam on Unsplash

The past few months or years have been filled with the most lessons learned in almost 3 decades of my life. It’s been a rat race, an outward appearance of “okay-ness” and the constant push to fill the perceptions of the multitude beckoning.

It’s been filled with my first financial crisis and heavy indebtedness in a role many perceive to be highly paid!

I’ve grown from a boy to a man, an adult to an experienced adult. I’ve worked the breadth of this earth, sampled what essence life is and why we can make of it. I’ve seen high hopes dashed and mighty foundations destroyed.

Trusted God, many times. I still want to and I hope to learn to. I want to hear him talk to me. I want to hear him take me to my next step! I hear that he creates us with purpose. I want to find that purpose!

I left a peaceful and most beautiful humble workplace to pursue a wild ambition, to build what I thought would be easy! Alas, only the general sees the war chest and the cost of winning the battle. I entered into the duel without counting my costs. It dawned on me that like the foolish virgins, I might have forgotten my oil!

Now there’s an escalation of commitment, the sunk cost! Should I continue this? Will I continue to sell my self-worth at this alter? Or should I start again? Do I have a Safety net? What about the debts? Who’ll pay them? How will I survive? I’m but born of a low-class school office assistant and a non-existent father!

I know I’ve lost health! Been the most fragile in years. Alas, no one cares! They only want to see the upright and shining golden star performing the art of pretense they love… doing the most, saying the best lines, and back to the shining money-making utility.

I’m going to harness my strength! Gather my shackles, leave my chains behind and find a tunnel of escape, fill my heart with love, face my debtors and inform the world how much things should actually be. I would live in the positive, learn something new, rise and go again!

Family! Family!! That’s all I’ve got after all! And the only person that doesn’t turn His back — God is all I can run back to!

Teach me to listen,

Teach me to crawl, walk and run,

Teach me to speak and talk,

Teach me to listen and learn,

Teach me to look and see,

Teach me to hear and understand,

I ain’t anything but you!

I’ll stop performing the art!

This short memoir is laced with important lessons for us but we have decided to not make this a folklore riddled with wise sayings but to implore everyone in the same shoe as the author to find what and who they love, live the life that gives them the best happiness with the people that gives them unconditional love, love themselves and put themselves first in all situation.

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Afroconomist

Afroconomist

Telling stories of Africa; her economics, history and politics | Bridging economic gaps by scaling traditional ideas & businesses with tech.